Sunday, December 29, 2013

Ugh

I'm exhausted. Discordia is still missing and I'm here trying to keep everything running. And I can't find a secretary because I'm supposed to be the secretary. So I'm doing a double job over here. All the administration, talking to the higher ups, deciding on what orders to give and sending them out, making coffee, etc. I want Discordia be back to do her job. (Never thought I'd say that.)

The hardest part is studying these runner cases and deciding what to do with them. How am I supposed to decide on another human beings life.. It's hard enough knowing I'm helping Discordia do it. But then I could think of them as just random numbers. Now I have to look at their pictures and read their info. However if I don't do it the higher ups will be the ones ordering my death.

For those interested in knowing who the higher ups are, I don't know either. All I know is that they lead the proxy branches in the entire Benelux. Each of the three countries has its own branch that answers to them. Discordia leads only the Belgian one.
Everything else about them is secret.


Another thing I'm getting stressed out over is the gangs. I'm not intimidating enough to keep them in check for a hundred percent. I don't want to be responsible for losing their loyalty to the Timberwolves or stuff. The Proxies hold on Belgium is rather strong and I'm sure the higher ups want to keep it that way. Discordia intimidating enough to keep them from rebelling so that's another reason I want her back.

(Her being a hot chick might also be a reason. xD Remind me to delete this part when she gets back. <.< )

The worst thing of this all is that I had so much work that I had to miss Christmas. Not that I care about the presents, I don't get any. But ever since I became a proxy Christmas was the only day I allowed myself to get close enough to my family to see them. The rest of the year I keep them safe from far away. But I guess I'll have to wait another year to visit them. I miss them.

-Mark

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Why am I surprised?

It was owly's team. They're the ones that kidnapped Discordia. Its her own fault really. This wouldn't have happened if she dealt with them after she got her hands on Alicia. I mean did she really expect them to just disband or whatever?

As much I'd prefer to just leave her be, I can't. The higher ups would be extremely upset if I allowed them to rescue Alicia and did nothing. And she might be the most evil bitch on this planet but Discordia knows what she's doing. Ever since she's in charge the Belgian proxies have become much more efficient.
Plus if she survives and finds out I betrayed her ... I don't even want to know what she'd do to me.


But most importantly I have a personal reason. If Discordia dies the chances of me being promoted to her position are high. And if I have to lead the proxies of Belgium I won't have time for this something that's very important to me.


So, new orders. Beta, Gamma and Delta squad get into the path and find Discordia. If she is alive bring her back. Try dealing with the Owly girls, don't let them save their leader. If you can't beat them at least delay them until reinforcements show up. And don't make Discordia wait, really don't. It's for your own safety.


-Mark

Friday, December 20, 2013

The Boss is gone.

Discordia was on her way back to the headquarters. Three hours ago we lost contact with her and Alpha Squad. Delta Squad went to investigate and found Alpha Squad dead in their base. No trace of Discordia was found.

Black bird feathers found on the scene indicate probability of nest involvement. All squads are to be on high alert. Delta squad will continue investigations. I Will update this blog when I find out more.

-Mark

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Captured the owl girl.

As I said in last posts comments we've captured Alicia Eule. Or as you guys know her, Alicia Owly. My men finally cornered her and her team. A battle was had and we got our hands on her. I'm sure her friends will soon post the details. It's a shame didn't get my hands on my dear Victoria. But at least the higher ups are off my back for now. I'll just have to grab her later.

For those that are wondering where the owl girl is. Well you'll have to figure it out yourselves. As fun a  game like that would be I don't give enough fucks. You won't be able to find her on time anyway. You probably have like three days. But that's just a wild guess on my part.

Happy hunting.
-Discordia

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Closing in.

The owl girls have been eluding us for too long. It's about time to end this. By the end of the week you'll be saying goodbye to anther group of annoying runners.

-Discordia

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The boss is still out hunting.

Just got a mail from the higher ups. They're demanding results. I think it's best you'd respond to them Boss.

-Mark

P.S. I don't think a public blog is the best way to communicate.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

New assistant take two.

The last one made a minor typo on the last post. So I had to fire him.
By which I mean I fired a bullet into his skull. Yup, he's dead. I can't have an incompetent assistant now can I? They would have made a mistake and in this line of work, mistakes are deadly.


I'm kidding you assholes. You really think I'd kill a guy over a typo?
Okay, I admit I may have given the impression that I would. I am rather violent at times. But no, Little Mark is safe and sound typing this up as I dictate. No gun to his head this time.
Which hopefully means this time he doesn't forget to use spellcheck.

Use it.

Okay good. Now moving on to more important business. I'll be leaving my office for a while. Got some pests I need to hunt down in Germany. So Mark will stay here and update this blog while I'm gone. But only if something important happens. This blog isn't here for his sad life story. Not sure if his life story is sad but meh.

It actually Isn't..

I don't care Mark. Seriously, just stick to typing what I dictate. I don't need your personal input on this.
Seriously, stop typing and post this damn thing already.

Yes Ma'am.


-Mark
-Discordia

Monday, October 28, 2013

And the position is filled.

Mark, 20 year old proxy from Ghent. He will be my new assistant. Checked out his records and they're good enough. I'm making him write up this post while I have a gun pointed to his head.
Wanted to see how well he performs under stress. I'll let you guys be the judge over this guy.

I'm sure he is very happy with his new position. He should be, its an honor to be my personal bitch. I'm not the easiest boss to work for , I admit. But at least its better than being crawled up in some hellhole withering away while trying to catch some stupid runner. Isn't it?

I said.. Isn't. It?

 Yes, Ma'am

Good bitch. Now post this and go get my coffee.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Ugh adminstration

Reorganizing is a bitch. I need a new assistant, my last one got killed when we were dealing with that wild runner infestation. So any Belgian proxies that want this promotion should send me a mail.
I'll sort through the candidates and stuff. Who knows, maybe I'll pick your dumb ass. Probably not.



P.S. Bringing me a runner I can torture might increase your chances of getting this job. I need something to vent my frustrations on. 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

A message from your boss.

I'm not the type to make speeches to boost morale. I'm not the kind of boss that cares for the people under her command. But I am the boss that will rebuild and make us stronger. I am the boss that will lead the revenge for our fallen brethren. 
EAT struck us hard. But not hard enough. EAT and her little pets will pay for what they've done. From this moment on any campers you see are to be killed on sight. Same counts for EAT's little pets. Except Echo, she's mine.

I will be sending orders to all remaining bases. Some of you will be transfered. All of you will be receiving training to ensure that next time we won't fall so easily. The proxies of Belgium will have their revenge.


-Discordia



Sunday, October 6, 2013

Status report.

Discordia: "A proxy base in the west is being attacked. Sent my men as reinforcements."



Assistant:"More bases are being attacked Ma'am."
Discordia:"Which ones?"
Assistant:"All of them."
Discordia:"What the fuck, how is that even possible?"
Assistant:"I don't know Ma-"


An explosion. Heh. They're here. Finally.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Guests

Finally the fuckers arrived.
Which fuckers? These fuckers.

Rogue proxies. My men had our eyes on them. Can't trust rogue proxies.
Not that they were a threat, far from actually, but I like knowing these things. Comes in handy when doing my job.
I let them in because I knew they were coming. (They said so on their blog. Idiots.) Had my men check them for weapons. You now, just in case. Once they were searched my men sent them into my office.


Me:"Took you long enough. So what is it that you want from me?"
Their leader signaled for them to answer.
Fuck face #1: "We just wanted to talk to you about-"
Me:"Yeah, screw that. I don't really give a shit."

I shot her in the foot. That shut her up.

Me:"I know what you guys are after. Funny thing is, I'm after the same things. And unlike you I actually have the resources to get it done. Which is of course why you came to me. But the problem is my info doesn't come free. I can give you a lead but from now on you report to me, personally. You're my bitches now. Got it?"

Fuck face #2:"What? No way we're not working for you! We operate on our own!"

My men enter the room. Aim their guns at the girls.

Me:"Not anymore you don't. Two options. You work for me, or you die right here. And I'd rather not get more of your blood stains on my carpet."

Their leader nodded.
I gave them the Info and told them to get the fuck out.
As much as I want to tell you guys what these fuckheads are after, I can't. Its classified. But I'm pretty sure these fuckers will screw up and release the info eventually anyway. But then at least its not my fault. I'm already getting enough shit from my superiors.


Thursday, October 3, 2013

I don't like waiting.

Seriously, I've got shit to do. I don't have time to sit here and wait for you fuckheads to arrive.
Stop messing around with whatever you're doing and get your stupid asses over here. Now.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Peter Gaertner

That's the slippery bastards name. None of you probably knew him. He got boring, so he's dead.
I want to go after my real target. But the timberwolves that got sent to me to train my men are being dicks. Saying my men aren't ready yet. They're goddamn ready when I say they're ready.

Guess I can wait a bit longer. Honestly I thought this job would be more exciting. Need to find something to keep me busy. Hehe.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

So I've caught the bastard.

The runner can run no more. Might have something to do with his broken legs.
What? Don't look at me like that. He tripped and fell off a three story building. Wasn't my fault.
Well okay I WAS chasing him so it kind of is my fault.

The slippery bastard can slip no more. He's still alive, for as long as he entertains me. Unfortunately for him I get bored quickly. But that doesn't matter because my men are finally receiving the training they needed. Soon we can move in on our real target.

Who? I won't spoil that surprise.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Slippery bastard

While waiting on the weapons and shit I ordered, I'm having my men round up the low armed targets. Getting those out of the way first. Everything is going according to plan, three targets down and a bunch more to go.

Except for this one slippery bastard. Not a blogger according to our records. Which might be why he's been able to slip away from us for years. He isn't the violent type though, just very good at evading and escaping. Hasn't killed much, only one proxy got killed by him. Several got hurt while chasing him. But that's to be expected when the proxies around here are that badly trained.
He wouldn't even be one of my targets if he didn't keep interfering when we go after other runners.

It seems like I'll have fun with this one. Might even make him my special project, depending on how entertaining he turns out to be.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Cleaning up

Before I can start dealing with those little runners, I need to whip these proxies into shape. Really, they're a bunch of pathetic puppies. Half of them don't even know how to properly use a knife.
They blame it on my predecessor. Said he was cruel and unfair, not giving them the proper equipment.
They say he was obsessed with the Slender fuck. "If our Father wants you to sacrifice your life to accomplish his goals then you fucking sacrifice yourself."


Heh. They haven't seen true cruelty yet. But at least I'm not stupid enough to let this bunch of pussies go on missions without the proper training and weapons. No wonder they kept failing. You don't send proxies armed with only a knife after runners with guns. Even if you want them captured alive.
There are better ways. Much better ways. Heh.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Promotion

I've been promoted. And part of my new job is writing a blog. 
You're probably wondering who is this person and why would we care about them getting a promotion? 
You wouldn't. Unless you're a runner. 
If you are then this would be the perfect time to get very scared. 

You runners are responsible for my promotion. You're the ones that started this war. And it was a runner that killed the guy that had this job before I did. 
I'm not blaming you or anything. No, on the contrary even, I fucking love this job.

So thank you. Thank you for giving me my dream job, killing you guys. 
If you hadn't figured it out by now you're a moron. But yes, I'm a Proxy. I serve the almighty faceless dude. Some call him the Slender man others call him God. I just call him whatever I feel like calling him. 
Thanks to that promotion you caused, I now have several groups of proxies under my command. 
And I've been assigned to lead the efforts to extinguish your foolish war in this area.  I'm going to enjoy crushing all your hopes, one by one.